Monday, March 12, 2012

SILLY WABBITS

Jesus was out hunting rabbits in the woods of Kentucky. He’d set up a clever snare using a bowl of Trix as bait. "Silly rabbits," Jesus whispered in the darkness, "Trix are for kids." Weeks went by, then months, and still no rabbits. "Damn it!" cursed Jesus. "What am I doing wrong?" Jesus would have starved to death by now if not for all those kids getting caught in his snare. But Jesus really wanted rabbits. For skinning mostly, but also for snuggling.

Finally, Jesus decided to hire an expert on rabbit hunting. He wanted Elmer Fudd, but after inquiring around, he learned that Fudd was fictional. "Damn it!" Jesus yelled again. "Who else hunts rabbits?" Jesus got discouraged and headed home. On the way, he saw a pet store and went in to buy some rabbit food. "Maybe it’s that dumb-ass Trix idea that’s holding me back."

He walked through the pet store door, and the first thing he saw was a cage full of rabbits. All his natural instincts took over. He opened the cage and snuggled the shit out of those cuddly bunnies. Then he skinned them and tried to sell the still bloody furs to the pet store owner. "Are you kidding me!?" the elderly shopkeep asked incredulously. So Jesus kept the furs, and made robes for his new bunny friends.

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