JESUS AND THE FRENCH TREASURE

Jesus sat in his swivel-chair, deep in his underground lair, watching his favorite porno while he studied his treasure map, given to him by the king of France in 1612.  That was a dreary time, when everyone had the plague… or was that some other time?  Jesus had a hard time remembering since the accident. Three years ago, Jesus had been hit in the head by a flying airplane and ever since he had to grow a bigger beard so that he wouldn't lose his car keys or anal lube. 

Just at that minute, he remembered something else he’d hidden in his beard.  He reached in and pulled out a magnifying glass.  He ran to the TV set to get a closer look at a nipple.  Then he was off to the San Fernando Valley to find his long lost sister whom he’d identified by her trademark triangular nipple.

He rode into a gas station on a goat, grabbed the hose and filled the goat’s ass tank.  “Forty-one dollars?  It’s a goddamn goat!” he said.  He ran to find the manager so he could vent his outrage, but she turned out to be a hot chick, peeing.  So all Jesus could do was stare and hold the bathroom door open so everyone could see.  Then he asked her if she knew his sister.

As luck would have it, she was his sister’s roommate/co-star, so Jesus offered to help her rehearse.  She politely declined.  Jesus snapped his fingers and said, “Damn it!” Then they were on their way to see Jesus’ sister.

But on the way they were attacked by an ancient order of French knights, come for their map.  Jesus grabbed that Arco chick and threw her high up in the air and ran.  While she was up in the air he turned her into a German and the French quickly surrendered.

Then Jesus, the Arco chick and the sister found the treasure and had a three-way on top of a pile of gold.  INCEST ROCKS!