Jesus was having drinks with Ricardo, the gay doorman, when suddenly his cell phone rang out the tune from Mighty Mouse. “The Jesus phone!” he called out. “Hello… yes… no… you’re pulling my leg… really…? You don’t say…. I’ll be right there.”
“Who was it?” Ricardo asked as he accidentally spilled a little of his horse-semen cocktail. Jesus was so offended that Ricardo would waste the sperm that Jesus had spent so much time collecting, that Jesus violently raped him with his girl parts!
Then, Jesus was off to help the ghost of John Wayne, who had called him earlier. There seemed to be some trouble at the watering hole, so Jesus was pleased that he had loaded up on protein-rich semen before he left.
When he got to the watering hole, he found the Duke and two beautiful women surrounded by Apaches. They were whooping, and hollering and doing that thing with their hand over their mouth. And the Indians were just standing there staring at them. Jesus rode up on the horse he’d ‘made friends with’ earlier, with a shotgun in each hand.
The Indians fell to the ground left and right with laughter because Jesus was riding sidesaddle. Jesus didn’t want to take the time to explain his terrible hemorrhoids, so he just showed the Indians his ass. All the Indians shed a tear, because Jesus cursed them all with hemorrhoids as well. Then they all ran away clutching their buttocks firmly in their hands.
As soon as John Wayne saw the Indians begin to retreat, he opened fire on them and killed all but three, who were left alive to tell the tale. Then, he and Jesus shared the whores and the Indian scalps and drank semen in the sunset.
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