PLUNDERING THE PLEWELS OF PLUTO

Jesus was mining for jewels on Pluto, which was no longer subject to the interplanetary mining laws now that it had been declassified as a planet. Pluto is super dark and scary, even during the day, and Jesus was more than a little creeped out.  He was pulling out plewels left and right on a Plusday morning when he first heard the noises. It was a sort of soft scratching, like a large rodent digging for bugs to eat, or plewels to hoard.

"Who's there?" Jesus called out.

Silence.

"I have a plun!" he called out. "That's a Pluto gun!" he explained.

Jesus slowly backed up, away from the noises and tripped over his own pickaxe and fell hard on the ground. That's when a swarm of plabbits with giant teeth and claws and ball sacks and crossbows surrounded him. They grabbed Jesus and took him back to their underground kingdom for questioning, and a plavity search.

As the lead plabbit pulled on his rubber gloves, Plesus pulled out his secret pleapon, a plenade! The plabbits understood enough physics to know that Jesus could collapse their kingdom into nothing, but they were never going to let him leave with all their plewels etc. Jesus and the lead plabbit stared each other down. It was a Plexican stand-off. Jesus was about to start negotiating for some of the plewels when he accidentally dropped the plenade.

They all woke up in Pleaven, and Jesus quickly hopped on the bus to Heaven before he had to explain things to Plod.