JESUS AND THE BULL OF HEAVEN

Jesus was participating in the nude bull fighting championship in Mexico City, Mexico.  He’d done okay so far by using his Jesus powers on the bulls, but now he was up against Berry, the Bull of Heaven, who was way too smart for Jesus.  They went to kindergarten together and Berry beat Jesus in the spelling bee, the make-things-out-of-play-dough contest and even at naptime (Berry always had some hot college chicks nap with him.)

Jesus was so scared that he could barely get an erection, which was a requirement in nude bull fighting.  So Jesus put a mental image of Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days in his head and was instantly hard.  He walked into the arena. There were three or four people in the audience, but Jesus didn’t have time to count. All his attention was drawn by a giant picture of him in a compromising position, which had obviously been hung on the wall by a bull.  The picture showed Jesus being beaten by kids.

Jesus was so mad, that he didn’t even wait for the buzzer to begin. He drew his sword and charged at Berry.  Berry had expected this rash behavior from Jesus and planned accordingly, so Jesus ran straight into the clear plastic wall that Berry had prepared earlier, and the crowd went wild.  Jesus peeled himself off the wall in time to avoid Berry’s next attack, which involved a chainsaw.  He charged at Berry again, this time with his broken erection in both hands.  Berry did a spinning-jump kick and knocked Jesus to the floor, then sat on him until Jesus died of hooker deprivation.