TIME OUT

Jesus was flying through space, fighting aliens, one day when, in the heart of battle, he had a real bad leg cramp and had to call a time out. The aliens were from a galaxy that had a different code regarding time outs in battle. They were forced to convene a counsel of twenty to decide the issue.

By the time the counsel had met and decided to allow the time out, Jesus had already resolved his cramp issues, eaten a sandwich, watched an episode of "Gunsmoke" on Netflix (he got amazing reception out in space on his iPad) and gone to the bathroom (without washing his hands). Now he had the problem of deciding what to do with his forty-eight hour time out.

He decided to sneak into the alien headquarters and kidnap the Alien President and inseminate the Alien First Lady with his demon seed. He turned himself invisible, took off his robe, pooped on the floor to see if it would be invisible (it was), immediately regretted pooping on the floor, left a not for his roommate, then raced off to the alien HQ.

Little did Jesus know, that the aliens saw in infrared, so they could still see him. Luckily, the aliens were small and effeminate, and Jesus was able to defeat them with Kung Fu. Once past the guards, Jesus started looking for the Presidential Suites. He found and inseminated the Alien First Lady easily enough, but then he turned the corner and was ambushed by forty-seven alien troops. They dragged Jesus before the Alien President and made him apologize. Jesus was mad, but calmed down after sneaking off with the Alien President under one arm and a nice rug under the other.