Jesus was down on Earth again, telling all the regular folk how to survive the up-coming Armageddon he'd accidentally unleashed while working on his secret formula that would end brain-freeze for good. He showed them all how to build strong shelters, and raise and slaughter geese and stuff and also how to have heterosexual sex for procreation purposes. People started getting upset, because he was demonstrating these things on other people's wives, and other people's geese. After he'd been going around the world demonstrating for fifty years or so, people started to wonder where this fucking Armageddon was anyway.
Jesus noticed people getting antsy, and conjured up earthquakes and such. Little did the morons know, that all the shelters, geese and brothels were owned, sold and operated respectively by Jesus' friends, and everyone was making money. But one man was wise to Jesus' scheme.
Arnold Schwarzenegger figured it all out, but when he tried to tell people, they all just nodded and smiled like they always did. He'd need help if he was going to stop Jesus. But who could he turn to? He needed, not only, someone who could understand he wild, over-mouthed words, but someone who would take him seriously. His search seemed endless. No one could possibly meet those criteria.
So Arnold did the one thing he knew best, he went to the gym and shot himself full of steroids. Then, he picked up some machine guns and headed to Jesus' corporate headquarters. He burst into the lobby and started killing people indiscriminately. He got in the elevator and hit the penthouse button, and then Armageddon came, proving that Jesus had been telling the truth all along, and boy was Arnold's face red.
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