JAYWALKERS

Jesus was standing on the corner of Sunset and Fairfax in Hollywood. He was undercover in a jaywalking sting operation (desperate times, desperate measures, that sort of thing.) He was trying to find a ringleader, so he needed answers. He jaywalked right along with other people (like his special license said he could.) And he would ask them things like, "Mighty fine jaywalking here, eh?" "Who told you about this corner?" "Where’d you learn to jaywalk like that, man?" "Can I have your phone number?" Most people just thought that he was either retarded or religious (two things people in Hollywood were trained to ignore.) 

But finally, after two weeks, he got a talker. "So," Jesus said, "who taught you to jaywalk?"

"Originally it was John, over on Wilshire, but now I’m with Gary, he’s much better."

"Is that Gary on Gower? Gower Gulch Gary?"

"Yeah, he pays the best, really takes care of his walkers."

Jesus had heard of him before, and knew where he hung out. He raced of to the Rite-Aid on Gower and Sunset where Gary worked as a cashregister-man. Gary was bagging up some groceries when Jesus tackled him and hog-tied him and dragged him downtown.

"Who do you work for!?" Jesus demanded to know.

"Rite-Aid," Gary answered. "I was working when you arrested me." He was clever, Jesus would give him that, ‘but was he as clever as a beehive?’ Jesus wondered as he stuffed him in a box with a beehive and kicked him down the stairs. Jesus sat on top of the box and asked him a few questions, but Gary didn’t answer. Jesus opened the box and found Gary and all of the bees dead and came to the conclusion that Gary was equally as intelligent as beehive, and noted it in his report. Then he raced back to the streets for more leads and crack rocks.