Jesus was hanging around the grocery store trying to convince Girl Scouts to let him guide them into womanhood... with his wiener. The problem was, the Girl Scout’s den mother, or whatever she’s called, wouldn't let Jesus get near the girls because he looked and smelled like a rapist. So Jesus hired some high school football team to block for him as he rushed in and intercepted what he called, “the stuff.”
The team lined up in front of Jesus as he set his timer (he always kept a log of these things.) That mother chick was no dope though, she was a martial arts expert and could probably have handled a professional football team, so these high schoolers were no problem.
But Jesus had an ace in the hole, a hologram projector. While this karate chick thought Jesus was in front of her, he was actually behind her coercing Girl Scouts into his van. They were no dopes, as well, it turned out, and were scattering all through out the parking lot.
Jesus decided to grab up as many boxes of cookies as he could and cut his losses. Girl Scout cookies are worth about a quarter of what Girl Scouts are in heaven, but they’d have to do today. Besides, that’s enough to buy a fancy kielbasa dinner, thought Jesus as he tossed all those cookies into the back of his van, then sped off to heaven.
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