Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A WIZARDS DUEL

Jesus woke up one afternoon with the worst cotton mouth/morning breath he'd ever experienced. He threw on his robe and walked to Ed's Market on third. Jesus was surprised to see a picture of himself posted on the window. "Barred for Life!?" Jesus read aloud and incredulously.

Jesus decided to burst threw the door and have a word with the manager, but when he tried to enter, he slammed into an invisible barrier. "A Jesus Protection Spell!" he noted. "There's only one person capable of casting suck a spell." So, lieu of a word with the manager, Jesus needed to have a word with his old friend, David Copperfield, the magician not the accountant.

David was crouching behind a trashcan in the alley on the side of the store. Jesus didn't know that, but he didn't need to. He cast a spell to make David smell like a combination of newborn baby and peaches, blended at low speeds until nice and chunky. That just happened to be Jesus' favorite smell.

Jesus caught the scent and let out a satisfied, "AAAHHH!" then followed the scent right to David. David saw Jesus turn the corner and tried to teleport to safety. But Jesus performed an anti-teleportation spell, causing David to just stand there waving his hands about like a fool.

The two stared each other down and tried not to laugh. Then it was a bloody fight to the death. Hair and teeth were flying. David's mascara smeared real bad, and Jesus got a pretty intense leg cramp. They decided to call it a draw.

But the problem with the manager still remained, along with Jesus' cotton mouth. So David and Jesus filled the manager's gas tank with sugar, got a drink from the hose in the alley and went to Chili's for the two for twenty special.

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