Jesus was at his local cable access studio, pitching a show about titties. "All we need are close-up shots of boobs bouncing and son on," Jesus explained. His idea was flawless, but the producer or whoever told him that it would never work, and sent him away. The producer then started making the show and taking all the credit for himself.
But Jesus was no fool, he busted out his private-eye robe and followed this producer, Willy I'll call him, around. Jesus developed a particular admiration for how well Willy got results. Willy would approach women calmly and talk to them until they showed their boobs. Whereas Jesus just crept into their rooms while they were sleeping and carefully snipped their P.J.s off with scissors.
Jesus started to wonder why Willy was so much smoother with the ladies. The only thing to do was dissect Willy's brain. Jesus followed Willy home, crept into his room while he was sleeping and carefully snipped off his P.J.s with scissors. Then, Jesus dissected his brain. Willy's brain was full of red stuff, and pink stuff, and blue lines and wrinkles, but contained nothing about women. "What he butt?!" Jesus pondered. Then Jesus decided to dissect his own brain and compare the two.
An hour later, he had his and Willy's brains spread out side by side on Willy's kitchen table. There were several key differences: Jesus' brain was far hairier and danced about more. Then, as Willy's family watched in horror, Jesus' brain raped Willy's brain in its brain-ass. Through this unholy probing, Jesus obtained all of Willy's women-talking-to powers.
Jesus went on to produce the show about titties and several spin-offs. His career is an example to us all.
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