INFESTED

Jesus was running an orange orchard down in Florida, and there was a terrible fruit fly infestation. Jesus suspected that his dad was to blame, because he was always infesting places with bugs. But why would he do something like this to Jesus, when Jesus was trying so hard to make an honest go of things?

"I can sit here and speculate about that all day, or I can plot out an overly complicated revenge," Jesus said to himself. "Or," Jesus jumped up in a flash, "I can disguise myself as a fruit fly and try to infiltrate their political ranks and break down their system from the inside!"

So Jesus turned himself into a fruit fly and headed into the orchard. The only problem was, Jesus turned himself into a Mexican fruit fly, but the fruit flies infesting his orchard were Jamaican fruit flies. Jesus had to improvise, "Hey, mon," he said to the nearest fly, "how 'bout dis wedder we havin'?...Mon?"

They were on to him! "Grab him!" yelled Franky, the leader of the tribe or what have you. Once Jesus was captured, it didn't take the fruit flies long to realize that this jerk was the owner of the orange orchard they were infesting, and also the son of the man that sent them here.

"I just want to live the peaceful life of an orange farmer!" Jesus screamed as they tortured him.

"You should have thought of that before you banged your dad's girlfriend!" Franky said.

"He's still mad about that?" Jesus asked. "That was like... two hours ago!" But Jesus knew he'd done wrong. So, he took his punishment like a man/fruit fly, then flew to heaven to bang God's girlfriend again.