JESUS THE CLOWN II

Jesus offended people, by both the way he acted and the way he smelled.  He would dress up like a clown and go to birthday parties and arm wrestle kids for money.  One time he made the mistake of arm wrestling drunk.  He lost to some little girl, so he had to kill her and her parents and all her little friends so no one would be able to spread word of his shameful loss to a four-year-old girl.

But one little boy got away by hiding in the one place Jesus would never look, the freezer. (Jesus hated cold food.)  So this kid ran as soon as he got the chance.  He ran for several yards until he was caught by one of Jesus’ giant mousetraps.  He stayed there all pinned and broken until the cops got there.  Then he told everyone that Jesus was the culprit.  Then the cops, who were all Irish-Catholic, beat the kid’s face in for blaspheming.

So Jesus figured he was in the clear and started doing the robot right there in the street, while the cops all clapped and cheered.  But then out of nowhere, another witness appeared. It was Jon Lovitz doing his pathological liar character. Everyone had a good laugh and then they barbecued some food, and Jesus turned some sewer water into tea by adding some tea bags. 

Everyone went home happy except for Jesus, who locked himself out of his apartment.  So his options now were either:  ninja jump through the window, or use the spare key under the mat.  The choice was obvious.  Once inside, he put a frozen pizza in the oven and called the window repairman.